Thursday, March 02, 2006

Losing Well: How a Successful Man Dealt With a Rare and Public Failure

Date: Thu, 02 Mar 2006 11:58:42 -0500
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Subject: Danny Losing Big: "Able was I ere I saw Elba"

Losing Well: How a Successful Man Dealt With a Rare and Public Failure
Wall Street Journal
March 2, 2006; Page D1

One day last July, in a hotel lobby in Singapore, several hundred people turned their eyes to Dan Doctoroff to see how a hugely successful man reacted at the moment he was branded a failure.

Mr. Doctoroff, a New York deputy mayor, had spent 11 years trying to land the 2012 Olympics for his city. A wealthy former investment banker, he used $4 million of his own money, traveled 500,000 miles, worked 100-hour weeks and staked his reputation on a quest that his critics dismissed as foolish and unattainable.

He had come to Singapore with Muhammad Ali, Hillary Clinton and other dignitaries to make a final presentation to the International Olympic Committee. When news broke that New York was out of the running (London got the Games), Mr. Doctoroff was standing in that lobby with the American delegation. The announcement, he says, left him feeling "knocked over" and "emotionally paralyzed." But knowing everyone was looking at him, he held himself together as he accepted hugs and condolences.

For anyone who has taken a high-profile risk that ended in defeat, Mr. Doctoroff's very public failure offers insights. How does a person so accustomed to winning deal with a crushing disappointment? And before Mr. Doctoroff decides to try again -- he doesn't rule out a bid for the 2016 Games -- what soul-searching questions must he ask?

Dan Doctoroff spent 11 years and $4 million of his own money trying to win the Olympics for New York City.

Researchers have advice for high achievers who fail: Try self-deprecating humor. Do extensive postmortems. Allow yourself to dream big again. If you fear being a two-time loser, create a team strategy, so others share the risk. And ask yourself: What was your failure? Was it not reaching your goal, or not giving your all?

After Peter Ueberroth engineered the 1984 Olympics for Los Angeles, he was Time magazine's Man of the Year. Mr. Doctoroff admits such glory would have been nice, but he has learned to identify other satisfactions from his Olympic quest. He's proud that billions of dollars in projects under way in New York grew out of the Olympics bid, from an extended subway line to an expanded convention center to new parks.

Identifying such silver linings is appropriate, says Rosabeth Moss Kanter, a Harvard Business School professor who studies leadership. "Many successful people set the bar so high that they don't achieve the distant goal. But they do achieve things that wouldn't have been possible without that bigger goal."

Mr. Doctoroff, 47 years old, made his fortune running a private-equity firm. Back then, he had few failures, but they haunted him. One investment in a drugstore chain lost $20 million, and for two years afterward, he couldn't bring himself to enter any drugstore. "It was too painful," he says, so he bought his toiletries at supermarkets.

He first dreamed of bringing the Olympics to New York while watching a 1994 World Cup soccer match at Giants Stadium. He spent years hashing out logistics, as critics argued that the Games would be a nightmare for an already gridlocked city. There was nasty bickering over the building of a stadium, and Mr. Doctoroff was called arrogant by adversaries. (Mayor Michael Bloomberg named him a deputy mayor in 2001. Both men take $1 a year in salary.)

Mr. Doctoroff says the Olympics process changed him. He had been a hothead, who compensated by counting how many days he could go without losing his temper. But wooing Olympic decision makers in 78 countries, he learned to listen more and talk less. Dealing with critics, he had to recalibrate his brashness. It made him more patient, he says.

After the Olympic defeat, Mr. Doctoroff sensed that some people pitied him, or feared approaching him because they didn't know what to say. "In a perverse way," he says, "having had both my parents die recently prepared me for this. I understood the rhythm of loss."

The losing bid also allowed him to see how supportive his wife and three teenage children could be. His absences from home had been stressful for his family. But on the plane back from Singapore, his daughter, then 14, was "so incredibly sensitive," he says. "Her affection and obvious pride were very powerful for me."

The next month, he took his wife on vacation to Elba, the Italian island where Napoleon was exiled in 1814. In December, his wife gave him "the one pass after 25 years of marriage," and allowed him to travel by himself for five days to Chile. Wanting to think through his life, and challenge himself physically, he took a 200-mile solo bike ride. On one 12-mile uphill climb, he doubted he had the strength to finish, but he did. After not reaching the Olympic finish line, this was a meaningful victory.

He gave himself another test when he traveled to Turin for the Winter Olympics. Just a spectator, he wondered if he'd feel resentful or depressed. He was relieved that he enjoyed being there.

Should Mr. Doctoroff bid on the 2016 Games? Before trying again after failing, Prof. Kanter says, people must ask: Is there still evidence that the dream makes sense? Are you gaining or losing support? Is there more or less competition now? And are you so enthralled with your own abilities that you're unrealistically optimistic?

These days, Mr. Doctoroff bikes around New York, passing sites where the Olympics would have been. He won't commit to another go at the Games. But his decision surely will be weighed against what he calls his personal philosophy: "The only way to ensure you'll lose is not to try."

Read Moving On columns at CareerJournal.com1.


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