HOME FIRES
Five Iraq War Veterans On Their Return To American Life
October 29, 2007, 10:06 pm
Same Old Song and DanceBy
Jeffrey D. BarnettOne interesting difference between the Marine Corps and civilian life is job turnover. In the military every job at every unit has a new person filling it on a cycle that lasts anywhere from six months to three years. The commanding officer of a unit usually has command for two years. Company grade officers and staff non-commissioned officers usually change jobs within the unit every 12 to 18 months, and some field grade officers may serve an entire three-year tour in the same job before transferring units. The intent is to create marines that are well-rounded, have experienced a variety of responsibilities, and are ready to tackle a myriad of tasks.
Furthermore, if you don’t like the way things are running, just wait a while — they’ll change. You may not like the way they change, but you can be assured that new personalities will come and bring their own way of doing things.
This sharply contrasts the civilian world where the same person may fill a job for decades. The largest advantage of this approach is that it can create a true subject-matter expert — at least an expert in that particular job. The biggest disadvantage is that issues requiring change may be unlikely to do so if the person filling the job is not inclined to change them.
I think the idea of elected officials was initially designed similarly to the military approach of a rotating duty, but has since transitioned to promoting career politicians. I don’t think our founding fathers envisioned lifetime politicians as a part of American government. I thought the entire point of recurring elections was to usher new people into office who have recently been living and operating in the legal and economic world created by their predecessors. Such people bring a fresh perspective about how government policies are affecting citizens. But with no term limits for members of Congress, they face a pretty high bar for election.
The best way to make circumspect decisions about public policy is to live and breathe inside that policy and be subject to it for your livelihood. What should we expect of congressmen who have held office for 20, 30, 40, or even 50 years? More of the same, I’d say…and that’s exactly what we’ve been getting.
One way to combat this is to make serving in political office less financially attractive. Right now the base salary for a member of congress is over $165,000 per year. The median household income in the United States is slightly less than $50,000 per year. That is a large disparity. Now I agree that’s not a one-to-one comparison. First, Washington D.C. has a much higher cost of living than most U.S. cities. Second, I am certainly not a proponent of class warfare, and I think that people who hold difficult or demanding jobs should make more money than those with less skilled or demanding jobs. However, even with those two mitigating factors I think the difference between the above two numbers leans towards treating politicians as royalty and not public servants. The point is if you make the job less attractive financially, only those who really care will want to fill it, and all Americans will reap the benefits.
On the bright side, as recently as 2004 we’ve seen some congressmen with almost 20-year tenures ousted because they no longer represented their electorate accurately, so perhaps there is hope. Additionally, I am anxious to see in 2008 whether some states decide that congressmen with almost 40-year tenures may not be best equipped to make decisions on the increasingly important issue of net neutrality.
There seems to be another thing keeping new people and fresh minds out of Congress: who invented the ridiculous idea that if you have never been in politics that you aren’t qualified to hold political office? Unlike many politicians, I have read the Constitution, and I didn’t find that in there. I’m pretty sure the rules generally revolve around your age, how long you’ve been a U.S. citizen, and where you live. I did not, for instance, find the following,
“No person shall be a representative/senator/president without having first waded in the cesspool of Washington politics in a lesser capacity for no fewer than 10 years, and furthermore he must show evidence he has completely drunk the Kool-Aid and poses no real threat of upsetting the status quo.”
It’s not in there. I checked. Unfortunately, I often see media personalities and candidates for election critiquing their opponents on grounds that they don’t have the required experience.
Should there be unspoken requirements to hold office beyond solid leadership, principled judgment, and sound decision-making skills? I don’t think so. I think America would do itself a great favor by shrugging off these notions and start electing people who don’t know politics, people who haven’t been infected with the sickness of voting every issue along partisan lines so they won’t be ostracized.
It doesn’t take a subject matter expert on an issue to make a sound decision about that issue. Sure, the decision-maker should be advised by subject matter experts, but I am convinced that making the right decisions has little to do with “knowing the system” and everything to do with integrity. An assistant can explain “the system” but you can’t explain principled decision-making to an elected official who doesn’t understand.
America needs elected officials who care about the people they represent — not politicians who don’t wish to upset their party and who vote on issues based upon their impacts on reelection.
Changing our current predicament will require people that are unwilling to comply with “the way things have always been done.” Either a crop of new faces will be needed or America may have to wait until an entire generation passes before new ideas impact Washington.
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October 26, 2007, 4:42 pm
To Hell and Back With a SmileBy
Michael JerniganLet me set a scene for you. The time is the middle of the afternoon and the place is Falluja, Iraq, in April of 2004. I am laying face down in a shallow irrigation ditch on the side of a dirt road. There is a lot of noise. The kind that can only be known in war. It is multiple medium-weight machine guns raining the terror of lead. I am looking around and seeing my friends in the same predicament. I also see dirt popping up inches from my face and body. This does not come from just anywhere. The dirt is flying into the air because there are 7.62-millimeter bullets landing everywhere. Was I scared? You bet your sweet life I was. This is when I realized that I was going to die. Not when I was old or even back home in St. Petersburg. I was going to die on a dirt road in a place that if it is not hell they share the same zip code. There was nothing I could do but wait. I lit a cigarette and threw my pack of Newports behind me so my buddy Murph-dog could enjoy his last smoke, too.
Fast forward to October of 2007, I sit in the living room of my fifth floor apartment in Alexandria, Va. I am watching the television. I can not see the screen. Which is a shame because it is a flat panel, flat screen, high definition television. I have always enjoyed the newest in technology and do not see why I should stop now. I am waiting for my girlfriend to call after she puts her son to bed. I can not stop laughing because the program I am watching is just that funny. How did I get here and why am I so content with how everything worked out?
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October 24, 2007, 7:22 pm
Verses in Wartime (Part 2: From the Home Front)By
Brian TurnerIn my last post, “
Verses in Wartime (Part. 1: In-Country),” I shared some of the poems I wrote while deployed to Iraq as an infantry team leader. These were poems written in journals, usually late at night or in the predawn darkness, with a red-lensed flashlight illuminating the page (so as not to wake nearby soldiers racked out after completing our missions).
The poems I’d like to share today were written this month, specifically for this Home Fires installment, and they will surely go through several more drafts before I might consider them for a future collection, or book. I’d like to invite readers of this blog into that process.
When my book, “Here, Bullet,” was published, I told myself I would not write another book about war. I wanted instead to focus on expanding my own possibilities on the page. Then, my old unit returned to Iraq for what turned out to be a 15-month deployment. They sent e-mails detailing some of the situations they faced. Things began switching from the past tense to the present tense. This war felt as if it were surfacing in my everyday life. I was slow to recognize it at first. And at the same time, many of the poems I was writing didn’t seem to connect to my own interior life and the life I’ve been living, here in America.
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October 22, 2007, 8:48 pm
Mortality StrikesBy
Lee KelleyMost of us have thought about and feared our own deaths at some time or another, and many have faced it head on. My time in Iraq taught me a lot about the fragility of human life, and it served to remind me just how brittle these bones can be. Perhaps it’s a lesson I needed to learn. I remember standing on a rooftop in the dark two years ago, working on a satellite dish, when four mortars exploded in a nearby field, filling the impenetrable night with blazing orange light and furious sound. And now, after sixteen months home, the powers that be have utilized a boulder to deliver a similar message.
I left work a couple of weeks ago and was driving down a familiar road. I was watching everything, but I was on auto-pilot, scanning the events of the day in my head, planning the things I still had to do that night: pick up the kids, make dinner, give the kids a bath, try to get them to bed by 8:30 so I can have an hour or two in front of the computer, call my sister back.
It was five o’clock, and there were a lot of vehicles out. And all the other drivers were no doubt as caught up in the drama of their own lives as I was, missing each other’s bumpers by mere feet as they sped past at more than 50 miles per hour. I was doing 60. It was a narrow road, and there were a few 18-wheelers coming from the other direction.
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October 20, 2007, 8:47 pm
Way Beyond PongBy
Jeffrey D. BarnettI have had many hobbies throughout my life. Many have come and gone, but one has persisted before, during, and after my experience in the Marine Corps: gaming. In addition to being an engineer, new homeowner, and seasoned curmudgeon, I also moonlight as a gamer.
I started gaming almost as soon as I could hold a controller. My father purchased an Atari 2600 in 1981, the year I was born. Video games were a real novelty then and he enjoyed playing Pong and Football on the system. When I was old enough to understand the concept of the game and capable of using a joystick, I began playing Pong with him. In the years that followed I developed an affection for several games, most notably Pac-Man and what would become my favorite Atari 2600 game: Donkey Kong.
In the late 80s he purchased a Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) for me. I spent countless hours with Mario, Excitebike, Duckhunt, and Mike Tyson’s Earlobe Assault Punchout. I specifically remember having a spiral-bound notebook where I kept up with my high scores in Duckhunt. Through the years I moved on to new and better systems like the Sega Genesis and Sega CD. In late high school and early college I flirted with the Sony Playstation and PS2.
However, it was the release of the Microsoft Xbox and Halo in 2001 that resurrected my interest in gaming as an adult and provided the genesis for the hobby I have today.
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October 18, 2007, 10:39 pm
Radio Interview With Sandi Austin and Michael JerniganBy
editorsTwo Home Fires writers, Sandi Austin and Michael Jernigan, appeared today on “Talk of the Nation,” a show on National Public Radio, along with The Times’s editorial page editor, Andy Rosenthal. The show featured calls from other veterans, and one from Tracey Willis, Mike’s mother, who called to express her admiration and wish him a happy birthday.
You can listen to the entire show —
here.
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October 16, 2007, 9:27 pm
Freedom Is Not FreeBy
Sandi AustinAt times I miss the feeling of being totally free — the natural high I felt from the moment we landed in Ft. Bragg after 18 months of activation and 11 months in Iraq, when my feet finally touched American soil. For at least a year after that, I was walking on a cloud. The everyday stress of life didn’t seem to exist. I felt completely free.
But then, slowly, the drama of everyday living started to slip back in. Now, when I begin to feel stressed or that I am missing out on something, I often flip through the pages of my journal and am reminded of how minor today’s worries and complaints are. There are certain entries that take me back to moments of fear, insecurity and frustration. I have turned these memories into a source of appreciation for the life I have now.
The following is a single journal entry recorded on June 24, 2004, slightly edited for this page.
The events and emotions were recorded about an hour and a half after the actual explosions from my office at Mosul City Hall. All conversations with the Iraqis were documented as we were speaking. The photographs accompanying the entry were taken from my camera, as well as the camera of a fellow soldier from the 445th Civil Affairs Battalion the day of the attack.
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October 11, 2007, 8:54 pm
Driving BlindBy
Michael JerniganGreetings, everyone, from the Commonwealth of Virginia. I want to let everyone know that I am doing well in school so far. That college has kept me very busy. But I must declare that no academic workload can conquer Mike Jernigan. I am the new and improved version, outfitted for night operations.
All that school hasn’t stopped me from enjoying my weekends either. And I recently had one that would make any car enthusiast’s head spin.
I was lucky enough to attend a recent Ferrari show in Richmond, Va., with my girfriend’s son, Caleb. I wanted to show him some beautiful Italian engineering. A gentleman at the show who recognized me from my appearance in the HBO film, “
Alive Day Memories,” approached me and thanked me for my service. We had a pleasant chat for a few minutes and then parted ways. The man’s name was Luke: he sells medical surgery equipment.
I have always loved Ferraris. Not long ago, I was very close to buying a 1989 328 GTS, but erred on the side of wisdom and did not. I thought to myself, What would a blind guy do with a Ferrari? After this weekend I now know.
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October 9, 2007, 6:07 pm
A Significant Emotional EventBy
Lee KelleyA lot of us like to travel, and many travel due to their occupations. Some folks seem to enjoy the constant adjustment to new time zones. Others do not roam the earth at all. But of all professions, I think that the military path is the one that tends to quickly (and repeatedly) remove people from the comfort of their lives and land them in an alternate reality.
People join the military for a variety of reasons, and we are a unique group who come from all walks of life and every town in America. We stand before the American flag, raise our right hand, and then take an oath to defend something other than ourselves and our families. We are aware of the time honored tradition of our oath. We “swear in” knowing we may have to miss Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, and more. We train for combat, for the sustained management of chaos, and ultimately to represent our country in combat. And yet we know we cannot pick and choose the location of the fighting.
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October 7, 2007, 8:22 pm
Verses in Wartime (Part 1: In-Country)By
Brian TurnerFor anyone out there who might hear the word “poetry” and cringe, or having just read the word here, immediately look to click to some other article, silently cursing this guy Turner for not sticking with the Home Fires mission — don’t worry: I am going to be writing about my time in Iraq, where I served as an infantry team leader. But Iraq is also the place where I wrote my first book of poetry — “
Here, Bullet” — during my unit’s deployment there. (It was published by
Alice James Books.) So today I want to look back and talk about some of the things that went on in my head then, not only fighting, but observing, witnessing and writing. Poetry.
I believe in the saying, Poetry finishes in the reader. I can (and will) tell you about some of the things I wrote in-country, there in the sand, or what was going on in my head at the time (I use my journals from back then to help refresh my memory). But in the end, I truly believe you’ll take it with a grain of salt and decide for yourself what the poem itself is all about.
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October 5, 2007, 9:03 pm
Family DutyBy
Sandi AustinIllustrations by Snindee Garcia.
From the very beginning I have said to myself “I’m going to be good at this. If I could get through 11 months in Iraq, pregnancy and delivery should be a breeze; painful I’m sure, but at least nothing will be blowing up around me!” I just reached the half-way point, 20 weeks down, 20 weeks to go. The first trimester was easy; somehow I bypassed all of the negative symptoms spewed throughout the first three chapters of every pregnancy book. I continue to laugh at the “Whoaaa, Dairy Queen” and “Moooo-ve over” jokes. Even the food and beverage restrictions, weight gain, emotional breakdowns and fatigue haven’t been too bad. What I have been struggling with is the fact that I have to go back to work three months after the baby is born. I imagine that will be more emotionally taxing than getting on the C-130 to Iraq.
As I lugged the ruck sack onto the plane back in 2003, I was leaving my family and friends, who of course enjoy my company, but can survive without seeing me for awhile. This time I will be lugging a diaper bag and leaving, although only for eight hours a day, an infant who depends completely on me for its survival. Two questions continuously roll through my head: “What happened to the stay-at-home mom, the June Cleavers of the world?” and “What happened to the importance of raising your child within your own home?” I know the answer to that is very complex – the political, social and economic factors that created the dual-income household that so many people maintain today.
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October 2, 2007, 6:39 pm
Missing YouBy
Jeffrey D. BarnettNot surprisingly, there are many distinct differences between civilian life and the Marine Corps. Some have been welcome, but others bittersweet. Let’s jump right into what I miss about being an active duty marine.
Clearly defined job responsibilities. As a Marine officer I knew exactly what I was responsible for on a daily basis and the scope of each responsibility. I also knew that certain billets (jobs) in my unit were responsible for certain functions. If I needed to make a logistics request I would submit it through the company gunnery sergeant who would then submit it to the battalion’s logistics chief. The company gunny and the log chief were also the same rank, making this an example of “lateral coordination,” a prime concept of Marine Corps administration. Working laterally ensures that both parties get the best result for the group, as a more senior marine might bulldog a junior marine if any compromises were involved in the request. Furthermore, it ensures that the marine only receives direct orders from his chain of command, not from outsiders who may not see the bigger picture.
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September 30, 2007, 4:24 pm
My Red Carpet MonthBy
Michael JerniganHello everyone, how are we doing today? I have been even busier than usual. On September 5, I went to Washington, D.C., for the screening of the HBO documentary I was in. The film is titled “
Alive Day Memories: Home From Iraq.” The executive producer and interviewer was James Gandolfini. (Most of you know him as Tony Soprano). I was interviewed for this film back in November of 2006 in New York City.
We had a great time at the screening. I had my friends and family that live in the D.C. area with me. There was also a top-notch guest list. In the elevator on our way in we ran into Joe Galloway, a co-author of a book titled “
We Were Soldiers Once… and Young.” I am not even in the building and I am already meeting a person who I have respected for many years! Some of you may know that this book was turned into a film — “
We Were Soldiers” — starring Mel Gibson and Sam Elliott. (By the way, Sam Elliott plays the best crusty old sergeant major I have ever seen.)
There was a cocktail party before the screening of the film where I had my picture taken more than anyone can imagine. James Gandolfini was in attendance and I was excited because I got to introduce him to my girlfriend, Leslie. After the cocktail party we got to see the film. This was the first time my family and I got to see it. I do not know if any of you have seen the film but it is very emotional. It has no political slant to the left or the right. It tells the stories of 10 veterans, their injuries and the troubles all of us coming home wounded have to face.
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September 27, 2007, 3:49 pm
Vast Human EnterpriseBy
Lee KelleyWhen I think about war, and any vast human enterprise, I like to picture all of the human beings as electric-blue skeletons, as if I were seeing everything with x-ray vision. It reminds me that we are but animals, and makes it easier for me to comprehend what we are capable of as a species. Stone and spear have evolved into G.P.S. guided missiles. The abacus into the notebook computer. Every day more than 350,000 human skeletons are born on our little planet. And of the six and a half billion human beings alive right now, about 150,000 of them die each day from a variety of causes. But such mortality is not enough for us.
Some 15 months after returning home from Iraq, I feel absolutely dwarfed by the amount of money, equipment, and people we have pushed toward this effort. And though I am a die-hard optimist, I can’t perceive significant improvement, at least with regard to our ability to withdraw our forces. While this saddens me, it doesn’t surprise me in the least.
In some ways, the process of fighting the war on the ground was simpler than trying to figure it all out at home. Sometimes I think back to the night I crossed the border from Kuwait to Iraq.
It was dark and difficult to see people’s eyes. No need. I knew what I would find there, and it was a mirror. It was a time for determined action because there were people who seriously wanted to kill us. It did not feel like a peacekeeping mission because it wasn’t. We were there to fight and we knew it. The pure adrenaline-fueled truth of the moment was simple: Remember the rules of engagement, and protect coalition forces at all costs. I was entering the fray, and I would eat, sleep, and breathe it for the next year.
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September 25, 2007, 8:53 pm
A Timely ObsessionBy
Sandi AustinIllustrations by Sindee Garcia.
As I sit in my 9-by-9-foot cube on Cannery Row with my back to the gorgeous Monterey Bay, I open Outlook Office to view my calendar. Before me I see a list of scheduled tasks and meetings. It’s a pretty light day: four meetings, a lunch scheduled with a friend, and an appointment to get my oil changed after work. Suddenly an Outlook reminder intrudes on my desktop to tell me that I have a meeting in 15 minutes. Better print the agenda, get my water and head to the meeting — can’t be late. A memory stirs and suddenly I hear the the governor of Iraq’s Ninevah province saying, “Insha’Allah, I will be at your meeting.”
“Insha’Allah” literally means “God willing,” but from what I experienced working with the Ninevah Provincial Council, the phrase has myriad connotations: relax, don’t worry, no need to stress, or don’t rush. Saying insha’Allah in some ways is a “get out of jail free” card. The phrase allows you (on a high level) to take the pressure off yourself to do anything or get anywhere.
If you are invited to a dinner, a meeting, or a movie you’ve already seen, you can simply say, “Insha’Allah, I’ll be there” and it’s O.K. if you don’t make it. It took about a month working with Iraqi citizens before I finally grasped the concept of insha’Allah.
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About the Authors
Home Fires Returns
Sandi Austin spent 11 months in Iraq as a sergeant with the 445th Civil Affairs Battalion, in Samarra and later Mosul. For most of her tour, she worked as a liaison to the governor of Nineveh Province. She returned to her home in Monterey, Calif., in October 2004.
Jeffrey D. Barnett wrote for the column
Frontlines during his 2006 deployment to Falluja in support of First Radio Battalion from Camp Pendleton, Calif. He completed his active military service on June 1, and has started a new job in his hometown of Huntsville, Ala. He is the author of the blog
The Midnight Hour.
Michael Jernigan served with Easy Company, Second Battalion, Second Marine Regiment during the summer of 2004 in Mahmudiya, Zadon, and Falluja. On August 22, he was severely injured and blinded by a roadside bomb. He was medically retired from the Marine Corps in December of 2005. He lives in St. Petersburg, Fla.
Lee Kelley wrote for the TimesSelect column
Frontlines in 2006 during his deployment as an Army signal officer in Al Anbar Province, where he maintained the blog,
Wordsmith at War. He has been a frequent contributor to Doonesbury's "The Sandbox," and lives in Salt Lake City with his two children, where he is working on a non-fiction book about his experiences in Iraq.
Brian Turner is a poet who has served seven years in the Army, most recently in 2004 as an infantry team leader in Mosul with the Third Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Second Infantry Division. His book of poems, "
Here, Bullet," won the 2005 Beatrice Hawley Award and was a New York Times Editor's Choice selection. He lives in Fresno, Calif, where he teaches poetry at Fresno State.
